For a smart person, I can be really dumb sometimes

I've been worrying for no reason and wasting a lot of mental energy conjuring up worst-case, what-if scenarios. No more. Now 100% of my thoughts are on what I can and will accomplish, and I will steamroller over anyone or anything that tells me otherwise. What if I owe more on my freelance taxes than I have saved? Line of credit - it will be the bank's problem. Don't bother me with these things, I'm writing a book.

I've also been a complete MORON about my network. I joined a business networking group to promote my freelancing when I'm already overloaded with freelance work. Meanwhile, I meet writers who hand me their cards and e-mail me, but do I actively maintain these networks? No. Why not? Good question. No more. I am digging their cards out and retrieving the PHONE NUMBER a local author wrote in her book telling me to call her. I will create the network I actually want and need.

I am surrounded by intelligent, ambitious people, but instead of being motivated and energized by them I feel unequal and intimidated. Opportunities land in my lap and I brush them away. Why? Where does this pit of fear come from? I have no idea, but I am filling it with cement.

“The first and best victory is to conquer self; to be conquered by self is of all things most shameful and vile.” -Plato

Smart guy.

Smart girl.

The message is sinking in.

Don't believe me?

Watch.

: )

Progress

Since I burned through most of that freaking to -do list, I now have a sparkling clean office to work in. And by work, I mean write.

I sent E off to Mt Washington to enjoy the wind and slush, and I opted to stay here and work on my book. I think I chose the more difficult path.

1hr post-E departure: power goes out. Internet does not come back until 2 days later. Multimedia room still has no power: no DVDs, no satellite, no sound system in the basement.

Maybe E rigged it to make sure I was working on my book...

It's working, I've been toiling, eating nothing but popcorn and chocolate - he left me a HUGE dark chocolate almond bar as an Easter present. ok, bad plan - of COURSE I've been eating it non-stop since he left.

I'd like to thank my anonymous friend who answered my crazed 'constructing scene' questions even though she had tooth whitening strips on and hair color being timed. That's a true friend : )

back to it.

Fighting Inertia

It's that time of year. Everyone is crabby, everyone is sick of the cold, everyone is sick of wearing winter clothes and winter boots. Spring seems so far off and buried under so much snow there's no use even thinking about it yet.

must ... fight...urge.. to... do... nothing...

I have a looong list of To Do's for this weekend - things that I will not want to do or it will be too late to do once spring finally does arrive, so it's now or never.

I hold myself accountable to my loyal blog reader, Dodi - she'll notice if I don't get it all done : )

1- clean bathrooms - comprehensive cleaning - no quick swipes with a disinfecting wipe DONE!

2- sort scary piles of laundry in bedroom DONE!

3-do laundry resulting from #2 IN PROGRESS Only 1 load left DONE

4-bake chocolate chip banana bread for E (he is in charge of checking the cottage roof for snow damage so this is fair) DONE!

5-bake blueberry bran muffins for me DONE!

6-do something outside Sat that involves fresh air and exercise - xc ski? SUBSTITUTED: shovel back deck for 1 hr

7-do my long run Sun (90 min) DONE!

8-sort through bath products in bathroom and organize

9-clean office

10-purge office files

11-prepare tax documents for the accountant

12-plant the seeds I bought 3 weeks ago!!! IN PROGRESS

13-shovel a path from the back door to the composter IMPOSSIBLE - TOO ICY

14-dump the overflowing temporary compost container in the kitchen into the outdoor composter DONE - WALKED ON ICE

15-burn a new CD to listen to in the car

16-re-pot the plant that has been rooting in water for over a month DONE!

17-clean the grimy fish tank DONE!

18-research the cost of flights to Tanzania (might be able to get E to do this)

19-upload winter camping and other recent pictures to flickr

20-sign up for writing conference in April

ok, that's it. doable? I might have to forget I'm K and pretend to be E, although he wouldn't have a clue what to do with all the bath products.

I actually do believe it is possible to get all of that done. I'm not starting until whenever I wake up Saturday, and after I've had 2 lattes and read the paper.

Right.

update: 10 a.m. Sat.: I've had my 2 lattes, and I'm starting the list. go go go

update 2 p.m. Sat: 5 done, 15 to go

update 7 p.m. that's it for today. excellent progress!


Update 10 p.m. Sunday. Substituted finishing my list with finishing a book. Well, I'm definitely K, and happy with how much I did get done : )

Snow!

I haven't seen snowdrifts over my head since I was a kid. We had two big storms last week.
It's a pain when you need to drive somewhere, but on the weekend when you can take your time shoveling out, it's kind of fun, particularly when E volunteers to man the snowblower.
One of my birdfeeders in the back yard is so low over the piled up snow, the birds can stand on the snow and enjoy the buffet.

E is predicting that cycling season won't start until May. I'm predicting a massive meltdown by April 1.

Practicing What I Preach

I finally finished my wall of motivation:


It's a combination of quotes, images and goals.

Now I have everyone from Louisa May Alcott to Henry David Thoreau to Janet Evanovich and the US Marine Corps cheering me on.

I printed everything on my color printer using either quality bond paper or glossy postcard paper that comes pre-perforated so you can rip a normal-size sheet into 4.

No excuses for tattered post-its - I'm looking your way, D.

The only one I forgot was an old fortune: "A handful of patience is worth a bushel of brains."

I'm #7

Sorry for the quiet, but we've been freak-show busy. Here's proof:



Me classic xc skiing in a 5K race last Saturday. I placed #7 of 14 in my age group which sounds good, but in reality a lot of those women had kids with them and were skiing waaay in the back. But hey - too bad. I'm #7, I'm #7.

E did 29K and placed well for his age group. He is racing again next weekend, but I am taking a friggin' break.

We were winter camping the weekend before last and still haven't quite unpacked. I should be able to do a major flicr upload soon.

I hope you are enjoying all the snow (if you have snow wherever you are.)
snow=fun. seriously. cold= not so fun, winter rain = crap.

Either Hilary or Obama is fine with me - let's just get on with it!

Bush has to go NOW

I just read this on Publisher's Lunch

"President Bush's proposed budget calling for the elimination of Reading Is Fundamental's (RIF) Inexpensive Book Distribution program would be devastating to the 4.6 million children and their families who receive free books and reading encouragement from RIF programs at nearly 20,000 locations throughout the U.S."

I can understand why GW wants people to be illiterate. Now if the Dems can stop bickering over which of their AMAZING candidates is SLIGHTLY better than the other one and focus on combining their forces to get him or her elected maybe we can stop the insanity.

Can we please stop bickering over which grade of sand is best and focus on stopping the flooding?

Progress

1) Gilmore Girls Movie marathon-DONE. Remember that 10K fundraiser I ran in last year where I bet E that I could raise more funds than he could, and if I lost I had to do an orienteering race, and if he lost he had to watch the last season of Gilmore Girls with me? I won mainly because all of his friends gave money to me in order to make him suffer. We finally got through all of the DVDs and while it was a little fun to make him suffer, it kind of ruined it for me because I like GG. Lesson learned- I'm not good at torture.

2) Making an effort to go out with my female friends more- PROGRESS. Everyone is busy, but it really doesn't take much to pick up the phone and arrange a night to go to the movies. So I miss the occasional workout or get to bed later than normal - big deal. So far I've gone to 2 chick flicks: Atonement (YUK - I Highly recommend avoiding it)
27 dresses (CUTE! Meets expectations from the trailers. Not deep, but entertaining)

3) Book - PROGRESS. I'm working on it regularly instead of waiting for huge chunks of time to open up, and I've been reading other books strictly to learn how they were put together - I am close to finishing my first Nora Roberts book ever.

4) Relaxing - NOT SO GOOD. I signed up for yoga twice a week, and have missed as many sessions as I 've attended so far. grrr. I also have a lot of trouble falling asleep at night. Must work on this one.

It's Nice to Be Important, But it's Important to Be Nice

My high school calculus teacher (who I hated with a white-hot passion) had that saying posted on the wall of his classroom. It was written by hand on parchment-looking paper with leaves, bark, and other outdoor debris glued to it. I used to stare at it, imagining a dull rainy day at summer camp, being forced to participate in a lame indoor 'keep busy' project like braiding lanyards.

My friends and I used to repeat that saying to each other and it made us laugh every time. There's nothing wrong with the idea behind it; but I hated school, that teacher and calculus so much that the words and that freaking bark made me insane.

I used to make fun of people who have inspirational quotes on their walls, and I love the demotivation series that makes fun of corporate motivation posters. However.... as part of my ongoing battle with my "you can't write a book" demons, I have to reluctantly admit that a powerful way to defeat negative thoughts is to replace them with positive thoughts.

I tried an exercise involving writing down 5 positive things that happened each day before going to bed at night, and it was incredible how it changed my whole outlook during the day. Instead of focusing on everything that went wrong, I paid attention when something went well, keeping it in the front of my mind so I would have it ready to write down on my 5 things list.

Now I'm posting quotes on my wall from people I admire, and thoughts that I wish would stick in my brain. I'm not talking about Ned Flanders-like Polyanna sayings, or 'turn that frown upside down' crap, and there are no cuddly kittens, puppies or bark anywhere. I'm talking about straightforward words in modern fonts with clean lines. My favourite is this one that E put up in my office before it was officially my office:

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

If you're looking for quotes to conquer your "you're an idiot - stop trying new things and go sit down and complain about everything that's wrong" demons, try Compendium.

For the record, I still snicker at people who have hand-written 'turn that frown upside down'-type sayings on their walls, and I can't stand receiving crappy power point presentations filled with cliches, animal pictures and typos. Don't be put off by all of the Stuart Smalley type people who preach the power of positive thinking - you can still make fun of those losers. It's not that important to be nice.

Proof!

Finally, the surfing, diving and Chicago photos are online. Use the links below to see them. I split the photos in two sets so that you don't have to wade (!) through all the fish pictures.

The links will take you into my flickr account. View each set as a slideshow so the photos are as big as possible. To see my captions, in the lower right corner click Options and then select Always show title and description.

Florida, surfing, diving highlights, Chicago












More Diving

Small step in the right direction

I just spent one hour working on my book. No checking e-mail, IM turned off.
No distractions. I finally made my actions match my words. Is the book priority #1? If so, then it should take precedence over all else.
So far so good.
Now, on to priority #2 projects...

Karen needs improvement in all areas

Looking back at my 4 goals for 2007, which are posted in living color on the wall of my office, I did not complete any of them to my satisfaction:

1- Finish book
2 - Submit book to agents
3 - Earn enough $$ to go to a writer's conference, contribute to RRSPs and go on a dive vacation
4- Complete a 1/2 marathon and reduce my 10K time to sub-60 min.

I came close on #3 - I did go to a conference and take a snappy vacation. For #4 I almost had my 10k time under 60 min in March...

For the first time EVER I am receiving a 'needs improvement' performance review. The worst part is I am reviewing myself. Do I expect too much? I don't think so. All of these goals are achievable. Maybe one year wasn't enough time. Maybe I just need to re-word the goals to be more benefits-oriented in order to motivate myself.

2008 goals
1. Be able to say "YES" when someone asks if I finished my book yet
2. Wear out a copy of my guide to agents and editors
3. Enjoy a fabulous vacation while knowing I have plenty of $$ invested for my future
4. Show off my 15lb slimmer self in perfectly fitting non-mom jeans while wearing a snappy t-shirt from the 1/2 marathon that I finished.

So, Karen - are you sure you're up to the challenge? You could always work in an office job and watch television in sweatpants until your time is up.

No no no - I can do it!

Prove it.

Gone Surfing

Went surfing today - xcellent!

We had an ex-pro sufer instructor - Marcello from Brazil who lived up to the name of the EZRide Surf School. Compared to my last experience, this was so much easier!

Sunny skies, plenty of breaking waves for the locals and learners to share, and a gorgeous beach - the perfect day. We paddled out and started catching waves right away. I managed to stand up and actually surf a couple times : )

Of course E did better, but its my blog, so all of the photos Im posting are of me. Sorry for the lack of apostrophes, but this is a French keyboard. Tomorrow were off to the Keys for some diving. We managed to miss the big snowstorm that hit the Northeast Sunday - we got out just in time. No shoveling here, just sun.

Sorry - no photos yet - the connection here is too slow.

In Search Of

When I open my Yahoo! mail, sometimes I check the top searches to see how much or how little I have in common with the majority of Yahoo users. It's rare that I've ever searched for anything on the top search list. Usually I've at least heard of everything on the list, but today the #1 item threw me:

Top Searches
Elin Nordegren
Magna Carta
Eva Mendes
GPS Systems
Mormonism
Barry Bonds
Barbara Walters
Dolly Parton
Weather

Who is Elin Nordegren? I thought he must be some important political leader.. oh she's a Swedish model best known for being married to Tiger Woods. Right. Way more information than I needed.

My only search of the day? Spring roll recipe. yum.

I Just Pulled a Dodi

: )

I treated myself to a piece of original art sold on etsy.com

It's a 6x6 acrylic of a girl holding hands with a purple monster. Titled 'Friends Forever'
I love it, and can't wait to hang it on the wall of my office : )

It's by the creator of will write for chocolate and inkygirl

Karen's picks

To me, being asked for a book recommendation is an honour. Someone trusts ME to suggest a book worthy of her precious free time. I don't trust many people to recommend books - they have to REALLY sell a book to me before I'll take a chance on frittering away my precious free time on depressing "I am woman, hear me complain" stories or feeling like a moron because I can't keep the intricate plot developments of historical fiction straight.

So, when a friend e-mailed me with this request, I gave it some thought:
"I keep forgetting to ask you if you have any good books to lend me. I am looking for something light and fun to read. ... I think the last book I read was The
Kite Runner. Good but not as good as I had heard it would be...maybe too
much build up."

I'd hardly call the Kite Runner light and fun. I liked it, but light? not so much.

Here is what I'm lending her:


The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella

Kinsella is best known for her Shopaholic books, but I prefer her stand-alone stories.



Lady Luck's Map of Vegas by Barbara Samuel

A little heavier, but quirky. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this book.




Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris

This was over-hyped to me by the time I read it, but if I don't play it up too much, I think my friend will enjoy it.



A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel
Another quirky pick. A series of vignettes about the author's life growing up in small-town Indiana. Easy, funny.


What would you recommend as light and fun?

I was amazed at the number of books on my shelf that I've read but don't consider good enough to recommend. Might be time for a serious purge.

No US Thanksgiving or Black Friday for me

I already did the turkey with family thing in October for Canadian Thanksgiving. I will be working Thursday - it's not a day off up here!

We have snow. Not enough to xc ski on yet... unfortunately I never did get around to raking the leaves...

People keep asking me if I am going to "black Friday" With the strong CDN dollar, its becoming a competitive event - going to New Hampshire with its low sales tax is hardcore. Managing to be over the border for 48 hours requires planning. People are stunned when I tell them you couldn't pay me to go shopping on the day after Thanksgiving. To me it would be one of the circles of hell.

On a side note, would it be immoral to put expired Boost (one of those liquid energy drinks) in a food bag for the needy? We eat expired food all the time, but E is sick of Boost because he is forced to drink tons of it when on expeditions, and I don't really need any calorie 'boosting' thank you very much. So it will eventually end up in the garbage. Better to go to the needy? I tried some about a month ago and it's still good...

This made me cry

I am probably the last person to hear about this guy (I take that back, when I showed E, he didn't know so I was at least 2nd to last)



I thought it was fake, but when I checked around, apparently not!
more info/updates: http://www.paulpottsopera.org/index.html

my source: pub rants

Progress

Yes, I've been working on FiMyNoMo. I went with E to the cottage and I fired up the laptop each time he went into the woods. It's tougher to gauge progress editing than with straight word count, but here are the parameters I'm tracking:
hours: 11
new pages written: 25
pages edited: 74

Still a long way to go, but I did learn that even in one hour I can make a lot of progress.

New FiNyNoMo logo

E rocks!

I gave him the basic instructions for the participant and 'tracker' images, although I don't think I put "dull" as my starting point...

So far, so good. I am still not at what I would call a solid D1 -- all characters consistent (no unnamed, no multiple personalities), all transitions in place, all blanks filled in. Last weekend I managed to add 18 pages. Not a bad start.

Finish or perish!