Friday, February 23, 2007
Alex the Squirrel
Walking through the living room this morning, I glanced at the fireplace and saw two eyes looking back at me. Through some navigational error, excess of curiousity or lack of coordination, a squirrel managed to land in the fireplace and survive. Other than a sooty nose, the squirrel seems to be ok.
Me: "There's a squirrel in the fireplace"
E: (Eyes not open/ still sleeping) "Light a fire under it."
Me: "Can't we somehow get it outside alive?"
E: "Work on that plan while I get more sleep"
update/clarification: E is struck down with a plague-like cold and is home trying (unsuccessfully) to rest. He is normally not snoozing late on Friday morning.
Later, when E is more rested, and we're sitting on the couch looking at Alex (In lieu of coming up with a workable plan, I named the squirrel hoping to personalize him/her, increasing his/her odds of survival)
E: "It's like a mammal aquarium"
Me: Noting that Alex is crammed in a corner, not moving "It's a boring mammal aquarium"
E: "Yah. We need to add hornets or something"
Later, after I've convinced myself he was kidding
Me: "So what's your plan, seriously?"
E: "Smoke bomb"
Me: "Isn't there any way to not kill Alex?"
E: "I could put on two layers of fleece and gloves and try to grab it - depends how skittish it is. Knock on the fireplace door to see if it runs around"
Me: (Sad that E is referring to Alex as 'it', but happy that he didn't suggest that I put on 2 layers of fleece and gloves) --after jiggling the fireplace door latch--"Alex is just sitting there blinking."
E:"It can't be very smart - it probably wouldn't even survive outside. Too bad it didn't go down the other way. It would have been incinerated"
Me: "Maybe Alex is VERY smart, but Alex's friends said to go on the roof and Alex isn't coordinated and Alex slipped."
E - sighing.
Me - sighing.
Alex's fate is still unknown, but I'm afraid if I leave E down there too long unsupervised, Alex will 'disappear'