YESSS!

Friday night at the chocolate reception at the conference, Linda and I and our table-mates were discussing doing pitches the next day. Everyone else was relaxed until I explained how and why to be nervous. Worst-case scenario: sleeping late and missing your appointment completely. That would have been really bad, since my appointment was at 1:30 p.m.

We woke up on time, I made it, and I didn't give my speech as wooden as it sounded when I was practicing. I might have been a bit on the manic side due to all the chocolate and coffee, but the editor didn't recoil in horror. She slipped me a card with a specific editor's name on it.

Great! But uh.... I haven't finished the book yet. CRAP! Why don't I have it ready to send out this minute?? I can't remember her exact words - maybe she said "Ohmigod, if only you were done RIGHT NOW I'd print it this minute" or maybe she said "You're not done yet? LOOOOSERRRRR!!" and she made a big "L" sign on her forehead and laughed at me. Ok, no - she didn't, but it would be nice if I could send something before any reference to this conference sounds old.

So yeah, gotta get cracking, but now I'm en route to Mtl - that means packing plus 2 days of driving, then miscellaneous freelance work plus E. visit time. I'm going to have to get organized.

I really HATE packing. I need to unwind a bit first...

On the Move

Linda and I are going to a writer's conference tomorrow and Saturday, then Sunday I'm off to Montreal to do some freelance work ($$) and see E. Busy weekend! I am currently in the packing paralysis stage. I hate packing and haven't started. I'm going to go visualize what I need, then make a list.

Plagiarism scandal rocks chick-lit world

From the NYT: Harvard Novelist Says Copying was Unintentional

I am apparently going about this all wrong. I think I'll scrap my current project and change to Brenda Janes' Journal. It's sure to be a big success.

Defining 'voice'

As part of my pitch for this upcoming conference, I have to be able to define my writing - dark, intensely emotional, witty, whatever. Right now, I'm calling mine dry, witty. Here is an example of my 'voice' from a freewriting exercise (topic: bad hair day) that I did in a workshop. Any ideas othr than dry, witty? It's difficult to describe your own voice - that's why I'm asking for help.

Bad Hair Day

"Did you get a perm?"

Any time the humidity level is over 80%, someone asks me that question and they always give me a 'you're lying' look when I tell them no.

Having naturally curly hair can be wonderful when it's cut right and falls on my shoulders in perfect waves. Unfortunately, I have little control over when those days occur.

On days when I'm giving a presentation or having a picture taken, I make an effort with Bed Head Control Freak Anti-Frizz Serum, masochistically wrapping two-inch sections of hair around a circular brush, then blasting the curls into submission with a high-wattage hair dryer. For the first hour it looks ok, maybe not pin-straight, but presentable.

The minute I step outside and away from my curl control center, my hair knows it and the curls take over. If disaster strikes and I get caught in the rain without an umbrella, I know I'm doomed - the perm question or worse, "What happened to your hair?" will follow me the rest of the day.

My bad(s)

Thanks to being a shy kid who spent most of her time reading, I know the difference between their, they're and there; whose and who's; and your and you're. I do not write lose when I mean loose and I know that compliment and complement are two different words. I am not perfect. I have trouble spelling words with double consonants like recommend; I make mistakes with past perfect verb tenses; and until a few days ago, I did not understand when to use bring vs take. Oh - I also like to write long run-on sentences. I often pick up 'common writing pitfalls to avoid' books, but I never find the information useful.

Recently, I found a wonderful exception:
Getting the Words Right by Theodore A. Rees Cheney

FINALLY someone explained bring/take!

On Wednesday afternoon, the teacher tells her class she'll see them the next day for a field trip and reminds them, "Don't forget to bring your lunch"

On Thursday morning, each mom tells her child to have fun on the field trip and says, "Don't forget to take your lunch"

I learned that I make a couple of other mistakes (see below), but these might be the result of the language changing. I double-checked my Oxford dictionary to make sure it wasn't just a case of Us 'Mercians don't cotton to that there formal-like Queen-talk.

What do you think of the below examples?

Example 1: livid is a bluish-leaden color. If you write that someone was livid, it's like saying he was blue - you expect the reader to understand what caused the color change. My Oxford dictionary lists 'furiously angry' as a colloquial definition - used in informal spoken language.

Example 2: nauseous means you cause others to feel nauseated. So if you eat some bad baba ganoush, you should say "I'm nauseated." If you fall into a dumpster full of rotting baba ganoush and dog poo and walk into a tea party, you could announce to the ladies, "I'm nauseous."
My Oxford dictionary gives 'sick' as a definition for nauseous, so maybe this one has changed.
Does everyone else say nauseous or nauseated?

+++++++++
I'm actively putting my new-found knowledge to good use:
A woman with a mullet stepped into the metro car reeking of Calvin Klein Obsession.
Clarissa's face turned livid before she cried, "You're nauseous!" and keeled over.
A doctor rushed to Clarissa, examined her quickly and shouted, "Bring me my medical kit! We've got to take her to a hospital right away!"

Too bad this year's Pulitzer has already been awarded.

No, no, no - that character isn't you!

Linda has been editing and commenting on my book. I love her edits because she makes little drawings that are much more interesting than proofreading marks. For example, I moronically wrote that someone 'popped her head in my door' and Linda drew a door with a head in it. I wrote a stupid scene involving a sister and her husband slow-dancing, and Linda drew a stick figure barfing into a barf bag. Those are the two WORST examples - the whole book isn't rot.

In one scene I have one of the sisters being completely obnoxious. The sister just happens to be a mom and she happens to use one of Linda's favorite phrases. Linda drew a crabby face in the margin and wrote "Hey - Is this ME? I'm not the basis for this, RIGHT?"

She isn't - HONESTLY. Yes, I stole a few Linda- isms, but the character is a composite, as are almost all of my characters. REALLY! So if/when the rest of you read it, do not freak out if you recognize little bits and pieces, and do not assume that the main character is me - she isn't. REALLY.

2nd draft done

Yahoo! I'm starting my 3rd revision. You're thinking - oh, she's just making sure she used commas correctly - she's prety much done.
Uhh, no. Between the first and second drafts I had to dump three secondary characters by merging them in with other characters, and my theme shifted a little. I also had to fill in all the parts I skipped over in the first draft to keep myself from getting stuck. So this second draft is probably what you'd normally call a first draft. NOW I can start revising it.
Still, it's a good thing (aagh - delete that - cliche!)

Bring on the Nightmares

Yesterday I got completely jammed up with my book - I had to do the Starbucks escape with a notebook and pen thing to get moving again.

I also had trouble falling asleep, but not because I was thinking of this book - I thought of a complete plot for a horror story - beginning to end. I had to turn on a light and write it down. This morning I looked at it again and ran it by Linda. She likes it - it still makes sense, not like some crazy undecipherable dream.

How weird is that? I don't even read much horror. Apparently there's a lot of unexplored stuff simmering in my subconscious soup.

So now I am motivated to finish this chick lit novel so I can move on and scare the crap out of people. Much more fun.

: )

p.s. heard a real-life horror story today: e. only read 5 books last year! 3 on military stuff and 2 on kayaking. Now THAT'S scary. He needs me to dig him out of that deep, dark bookless well. I set him up with One for The Money, King Leopold's Ghost and Timeline for the long Easter weekend.

Never for me is almost 40 years

I like Agent 007's recent post.

I'd like to post a clever 'I've never' list here, but I can't think of anything good. Of course, I haven't done it all, but I can't come up with a comprehensive, inspirational list. What is one 'supposed' to have done by age 40? No idea. Not interested in doing what I'm supposed to be doing anyway. Where's the list of stuff you shouldn't do? I'm sure that's much more fun.

As for universal themes, I'd love to explore a revenge theme. I don't think I've ever actively sought revenge, but I do think about it a lot. I hold long grudges and I enjoy thinking of ways to smite my foes. Nothing quick and painless. I prefer sneaky and underhanded. Stephen King has written some excellent short stories about revenge. Those are my favourite of his works.

What am I doing?

I am supposed to be completing 30 pages of book revisions today. I have 4 done so far.

I still haven't crafted my 'ride-along' story. By the time I do, it will be old news.

I write, I complain about writing, I miss e.

I went to a martial arts exhibition with Q Friday. Board-breaking, brick-breaking, impressive self-defense. Inspired me to bump up my weekend workout. Now I'm tired. Running uphill fast hurts and I don't envision it helping me break any bricks.

I took Em to see the movie 'She's the Man' last night. Pretty good for a PG-13 teen flick.

I miss the kids already and I'm not gone yet. I make no sense.

If I haven't spelled it out yet, I am planning on moving back to Canada. In June. In with e. Yes, e. is aware. He might change his mind after reading this post, but as of a few hours ago, he was on board.

Time to stop playing with blogger. Time to go work on the book revision already.

I never do what I should be doing.

Rubbing Shoulders With a Six-Figure Freelancer

Kelly James Enger is giving a series of presentations about novel writing and freelance writing at the local libraries. I have Linda to thank for finding out for me. I went to a 'getting published' presentation last night. KJE has done and is doing exactly what I am trying to do. I'm hoping some of her success and wisdom rubbed off on me.

She gave a lot of good information - straighforward and honest. Yes, it's doable, but you have to do it - no one is going to approach you and ask you for your writing - you have to send it out there.

I own her book "The Six Figure Freelancer" but of course I forgot to bring it last night to be signed. grr. Next time.

I'm working on not being 'shy Karen' when I go to these things and making a point of saying something to the presenter afterward. So far no one has recoiled in horror at me. KJE was extremely nice and encouraging and even responded to an e-mail I sent her. Nice.

Sorry I haven't been posting much - I went on a 'ride along' with a county sheriff patrol car Sunday night and I've been meaning to post details, but can't seem to get it crafted just right. Please be patient...
one tidbit: I got to tour the jail and hit my head on the wall of the 'rubber room' - it's not really made of rubber.

Performace Review

What am I supposed to be doing? Am I doing ok?

Without a boss to say 'good job' or 'wtf do you do all day?' I gave myself an evaluation to make sure I'm on track or can at least see the track.

I'm supposed to be writing a book. check.

Am I doing ok? I've learned a lot, and the current work is still living and showing promise. It's not done but I'm confident I can finish it.

What would I like to improve? Less anxiety, improved efficiency base don learning from the past months, and more income - preferebaly from a BIG HUGE advance, but more realistically from freelancing.

So how am I? ok.

As I've said before, I am apparently less of a freebird, rolling stone than I thought. I'm more Rain Man than Kerouac. I need a little more routine and stability.

I'm working on finding the perfect balance. Same old same old day in and day out doesn't work. No fixed address is better but not quite right.

E Meets the Family

Currently in Ashtabula. The book is with me but still in a bag. Linda, QNE and Grandma Dorothy are all at the Amelia house. Boba had to go to London and couldn't make the trip. E drove down to meet the family and take a bunch of my stuff back. He was a big hit, particularly with Emma. At dinner the first night, Emma announced that she liked e, and Linda reminded her that e. is Aunt Karen's boyfriend. Emma replied, "but I'm cute, and I have fancy pants - she's just wearing gray pants."
Emma kept sitting between us and pushing me away. She is some serious competition! I need to watch my back. E left this morning so I will be re-opening the book bag soon and setting up the laptop to get some work done.

Prioritizing

When you have a lot to do and have deadlines quickly approaching, it's important to prioritize to make sure the important things get done. I have to pack for a visit to Ashtabula and pack for a transfer of some of my stuff up to Parrot Island. I have to figure out how to keep my car legally registered and insured if I want to bring it to Canada and spend the majority of my time there. I also have this freaking book to finish revising - I'm going to a conference at the end of April and would like to be able to give a coherent answer to the question, "So, what's your book about?"

I woke up crabby and feeling overwhelmed. Linda and I stayed up until midnight last night digging through a giant box of clothes. Although my savings is dwindling and I have no steady source of income, I still do not want to hold on to all my possesions as though it were the depression... because it's.... depressing. I kept handing her things saying, "Here - take this." L: "Why don't you want it?"
"I don't want to pack or unpack it ever again."

Honestly, I've had it. My packing role model is Steve Martin from The Jerk. ALL I NEED IS THIS----
I'm going to stumble over the border dragging a chair, but I am not re-sorting and re-packing all those friggin' boxes.

So I'm still a little crabby, but I did get a haircut :)

Oh - remember the critique group I joined and then abandoned because someone was mean to me? Someone else wrote a nice review of one of my excerpts. Thank you, Robb from Texas :)

This thick skin of mine is really helping me handle criticism of my writing.

Ms. Fix-it Strikes Again

In the last week, my computer stopped making a horrible fan noise and started taking increasingly frequent unauthorized 'breaks'. I tried AVG-checking for viruses - no, I tried Spybotting for adware - no. I tried 'jiggling' the power cord - no. I had to actually take the cover off the thing and look at its innards. Dusty - yuuuck.

e: use a q-tip to loosen the grime while using a vacuum to get it out.
me: ok, still powering down

e: are all the fans working?
me: all but the one on the power supply

e: do I need to put 2 and 2 together for you?
me: could you? I hate this project. I'm in the middle of Emily Giffen's 2nd book and this whole 'fix the computer' routine is getting old

e: I'd love to help you but you're there and I'm here, but it's good, this way you'll learn how.
me: yeah, great.

e gave me detailed instructions about disconnecting the power supply. I called him back 3 or 4 times to get further clarification, particularly on cutting tie-wraps and on how much I was supposed to pull to get the connectors to 'just snap right out'. Good thing he isn't a busy person and doesn't have many hobbies or projects of his own or I might have been bothering him.

I took the disconnected ps to the Geek Squad at Best Buy, and they helped me find a new one. So it cost $56 but I probably saved a little on labor and a lot of time. I am up and running the same day. : )

As long as e's patience holds out I could get used to this handywoman stuff.
I'm sure there's no correlation, but he is not answering my calls right now.

Hardy Boys Cliffhangers

aka chapter-ending hooks.

Are they essential?

Yes, they keep me turning pages, BUT if the hook turns out to be fake or easily/quickly resolved right away in the next chapter, then I'm annoyed.

I will keep turning the pages of a book without hooks if I like the book. I prefer that the chapters end cleanly so I can slip my bookmark in and know where to start up again.

Both of the judges from that contest told me I need chapter-ending hooks so I've been trying to end my chapters mid-scene, where the crisis is unresolved, but I don't like it. I think I am going to put it back the way it was.

Please tell me your opinion: Do you need hooks to keep reading the next chapter, or do you prefer clean chapter breaks?

My Yoda!

I went to hear author Emily Giffin talk last night and she was amazing! She grew up in the Chicago suburbs, went to law school, hated being a lawyer, quit, moved to London to write, gave herself a year deadline and managed to produce a New York Times best-selling chick lit book. That book was just optioned for movie rights, she's published two others and is working on a fourth.

I love that story.

I also enjoyed the chocolate cupcake with pink frosting, chit-chatting with other writers, and going out afterward for an Espressotini.

mood: inspired, motivated

Kidding Myself

I keep telling myself that once I get rolling, get experienced, get published, I will learn to trust the process and get less freaked out when I'm stuck. According to Tess Gerritsen that's not necessarily true. Her post is freaking me out a little. I did wear the same outfit two days in a row last week because it was on top of the pile...

GAH. Well, I'll worry about that tomorrow. Right now I'm happy because I finally figured out a quirk for a character who needed one. She's going to constantly ask for my main character's opinion of two choices and then instantly tell mc she's not taking her advice. I HATE that.

Can't you advice never-takers quietly go back to your corners and re-consider your options and then quietly do whatever the hell it is you wanted to do instead of rejecting my advice in my face? Don't waste my time. When someone does that to me repeatedly I'll say "I dunno, whatever the first thing you said was" if I can get away with it (if the person isn't my boss).

Out of Sick Mode, Back in Stuck Mode

After spending much of the weekend recovering from a bout with some sort of intestnal virus - yuk, I'm faced with what exists of my book - a rough sort-of first draft printed out in a binder. I do not feel like celebrating. There is a lot to fix here. The middle sags, the end is still a question mark. I am nowhere near the dotting the i's and crossing the t's stage.

Confidence lagging...
Self-doubt creeping in....
Must move forward...

Winter Camping

For everyone who thinks "are you crazy?" when you hear 'winter camping' - go look at the photos in my flickr account. The scenery is beautiful, and you'll see we aren't huddled around a makeshift fire inspecting our frostbitten fingers trying to keep warm. It's not like that at all.
I love the photo of e. above. I snapped it during his only 10 minutes of downtime the whole weekend, but it makes him look like a real slacker - sunning himself with snacks. I should crop the shovel out because it hints at the fact that he just spent the last hour building an igloo.

Another Good Thing About Canada

The asshat (great word!) Bill Napoli isn't there.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Laura, you don't need to be in Namibia to make a difference - we need you here!