DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS !

That's me shouting HP5-style - I just finished re-reading Order of the Phoenix. I burned through it really quickly the first time to get to the end, so it was nice to slow down and enjoy reading it the second time through. I just picked up HP 6 to read for the second time and have been negotiating time chunks to read. Why negotiating? Because E and I are completely booked up through mid-August. He's agreed to do all driving and not complain while I sit in the passenger seat and read. I've got to finish HP7 before meeting the family for vacation because I will either hear spoilers or be left out of any and all HP conversations. Plan A was to spend this weekend reading the whole thing, but friends from Vermont invited us to go on a 2-day bike tour, and it IS summer after all,... so I will be picking my copy of HP up on SUNDAY - very late, and then reading next week and en route to the family vacation.

I have no idea who lives or dies or if Snape is good or evil. I don't like to try to figure things out before because either way it would be disappointing. I want to be surprised. My only hope is that we see more of Fred and George Weasley and that there is an ending that makes sense. I heart the twins.

I am a little homesick about HP7 - for HP6 I was with ksl, Dodi and the boys and we had a great time at Barnes and Noble midnight madness - the best part was we waited in line for hours, then stopped at a grocery store on the way home only to find a table heaped with HP6 and no lineup.

This time I will just be running into Chapters to grab my copy 2 DAYS after it is released. Not so fun. Maybe E will dress up in a cape and HP glasses.

Edge=good

"If you don’t feel that you are possibly on the edge of humiliating yourself, of losing control of the whole thing, then probably what you are doing isn’t very vital. If you don’t feel like you are writing somewhat over your head, why do it? If you don’t have some doubt of your authority to tell this story, then you are not trying to tell enough."

-John Irving

found on Pick the Brain

The Big One

The most fun thing about E is that he pushes you past the edge - it's as if all most of us can see is a flat world and somehow he can see further. He's good at convincing other people that the world is actually round and then for those who are willing to go with him to see, he proves it over and over again.

One of his friends recently returned from a year in New Zealand and was pushing E to name the next "Big One" A big one is BIG - one of those 'things I want to achieve before I die'. The ones you can't do in an afternoon - they require commitment, training, focus and seeing past your flat world.

E's friend just put together these clips of their last Big One - summiting Mt. Aconcagua. While mountain climbing is not my big one, this video still inspires me because it all relates.

Preparation - instead of training, running, hiking, carrying packs, learning about the area, first aid, another language, mountain rescue, avalanche awareness, I need to write every day, learn the craft, revise, stay aware of the industry, stay focused. They managed to prepare while working full time jobs, keeping relationships, friendships and family ties strong and raising the funds to make the trip. Not easy.

Focusing on what you control and preparing but not worrying about what you can't. What if there's bad weather? What if the altitude gives me a cerebral edema? What if there's an avalanche? What if the market for the kind of book I'm writing bottoms out? What if I can't find an agent? What if no publisher will buy my book? Doesn't matter. Prepare the best you can and take your shot. It's the only way to get there.

My big one looms. I'm about to get much more ruthless with my time and attention. I can just see the curve beyond my flat world...

Dahling I love you, but give me Park Avenue

Cottage life sounds so idyllic - drive up in your Lexus and sip lattes on the veranda. The reality is scooping rotting organic matter out from the bottom of the lake to stop the proliferation of algae and rotting organic matter stink. I spent most of the weekend in chest waders (not to be confused with hip waders) - oh so glamorous.

We did manage to finish the concrete footing for a friend's dock - well, E did while I sat on a rock fishing and actually caught a small-mouth bass. No one could believe I actually caught something. Apparently my frog-drag technique wasn't so amateurish after all.

Our dock is now extended much further out into the lake so we'll have more sun and less bugs. Of course we won't have a chance to get back there to enjoy it until mid-August. grr.

When was the last time you spent a weekend in waders? I'm not sure how this will ever play in to novel fodder, but you never know.

Thanks to TomTom Ken, I'm never lost

If you asked me how the Internet has greatly improved my life I would say e-mail communication and MAPQUEST. Mapquest has saved me countless hours of frustration and humiliation getting lost and asking for the same directions over and over. However, Mapquest does have its drawbacks - I have to re-copy the instructions huge in Sharpie and tape them to the dashboard for quick reference while driving. AND if I have to stray from the directions for any reason - traffic, exit closed, whatever - I'm finished.

E has saved me from all of this. He HATED my 'paper taped to the dashboard' system and constantly re-explained how to navigate L'Acadie to get to MEC (I'm 2/3 successfully getting there on my own). He just bought me my own TomTom. It's a portable GPS that you can carry with you (downtown!) or place on the dashboard of your car. You enter your destination address, and TomTom uses GPS and North American maps to figure out where you are and how you should get to where you're going. The voice of your choice tells you when to start moving over for a turn, gives you advance warning of turns and tells you what the next turn will be. I selected Ken - English-Australia because he sounds so calm and he uses funny words like 'motorway.'

If you stray from the directions - miss an exit or decide you don't want to take a congested highway, the TomTom will pick up the directions from wherever you are and map out a new route. Since the voice keeps you informed, you don't have to look at it, but it is easy to see with a quick glance how far you are from the next turn. I can't tell you how stressful it used to be getting trapped in traffic, scared to stray from the directions, knowing I would get hopelessly lost. TomTom has eased all of that stress. I can now exit anywhere and I'm never lost. For anyone who doesn't naturally have one an 'internal direction beacon' I strongly recommend a TomTom - much cheaper than dealing with the harmful effects of that constant stress on your body.

I'm buying one for ksl! She's the one who showed me the mapquest/sharpie system - I think she's ready for an upgrade : )

Weekend plans: fishing, pouring concrete for a dock, then chain-sawing two trees 'up north' and planting cedars. I am part of the work crew doing these projects and I get the impression I will be the only female. I have no interest in pouring concrete, but apparently there is a job involving hip waders that might be mine. I'll let you know how all of this goes. Hip Waders! excellent.

Upcoming: Next week I will be hosting a Go Green party promoting Shaklee Get Clean products. No, this is not my new job - I'm doing it to help reduce waste and dumping toxins into the environment. Yes, I realize that industry is responsible for the majority of the problem, but if we start at home the effects will ripple out. Shaklee cleaners work - I've tried many and wasted a lot of money so I am saving others the same trouble. And the packaging has puppies and butterflies on it - always a bonus :)
Don't trust me? Here's Oprah raving about Shaklee

Mid-point 2007

Back from the race - feeling a little ragged. Race went well except for the start of the kayak leg - had some trouble getting into my kayak. Let's just leave it at that.

Have to work today - feeling sorry for myself. Bought Divisadero and stated reading it. Don't love it yet, but it's going fast and keeping me entertained. No quotation marks in the text, yet I can tell what's being said. how odd. Wish I could spend the day on the back porch reading...

Mid-year analysis: need to spend more time on the book, focus on stretching to avoid further pain/injury while working out. otherwise, it's all good : )

Triathlon training

Remember the duathlon I WON in my age division last year? That race is happening again this Sunday. I will be on a relay team doing the running and kayaking, and my teammate D will bike. E will be doing the complete triathlon for the first time: run, bike, kayak.

Here's how we've been training:

K: took kayak out of storage, rinsed off dirt, went paddling once while somewhat hungover after a party. Spent 2 hours shopping for a new paddle which E said was the same as my old paddle. E returned it and bought me a different paddle. Will be racing with an untested paddle.
Increased my runs from 0x/week to 2x/week, but my knee still blows out if I increase my pace from a shuffle.
Should be interesting.

E:
Also went paddling once while slightly hung over after a party. Decided his bike needed to be red, not grey. Disassembled the entire bike less than one week before the race. Ran out of a discontinued 'cherry red pearl' paint which required 3 Canadian Tire store inventories to replenish. Bike is now painted red and back together (after several late nights in the shed) and needs a final road testing.

As you can see, we're taking this very seriously. E is actually a little freaked out about competing in the triathlon - he doesn't do well when confronted with the possibility of being at the back of the pack. I'm sure the red bike will help.

Karen, Lorelai and Rory WIN!

Thank you everyone who contributed to the Take Down Eric fund.
He went through all the stages when I started pulling ahead:
disbelief - wait a minute - how did you raise over $200 in one day?
anger - hey, you scammed my e-mail list, and my friends and co-workers are sponsoring the Gilmore fest!
acceptance - ok, ok , it's for a good cause

I ended up raising $937 and E raised just over $700
The team raised over $10,000 and it looks like the event will reach its goal of $365,000.


As for my individual race time, well, let's just say I'll need to find another 10K to hit my target. Between not training due to quad/knee issues and general poison ivy misery, I wasn't in the best 10K shape. It was also stinking hot that morning. I'm looking for another race to do at the end of August.

GILMORE FANS UNITE!

I'm in the final push to win our bet: If I raise more funds, then Eric has to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon. If he wins, then I have to do an orienteering race this fall.

Let's go Gilmore!

Right now, I've raised $827, and he has $690, but there's still one more day and anything can happen. Let's make sure the Giilmore Girls win. I know Lorelai and Rory wouldn't be caught dead running, but I'm sure they'd prefer the idea of spending a day slacking on the couch over bumbling around lost in the woods!

This Saturday I will be participating in the 25th annual Step Up for
the Children with Standard Life 10 K run to benefit the Foundation for
Research into Children's Diseases. It's a wonderful cause which
supports four pediatric research centres: Centre hospitalier
universitaire Sainte-Justine, The Montreal Children's Hospital, Centre
hospitalier universitaire de Québec and Centre hospitalier universitaire
de Sherbrooke.


Please sponsor me by clicking here.
Secure online donations can be made with a credit card and an electronic
tax receipt will be sent via email within minutes.

In celebration of our community's children and their families, thank you
in advance for your generous support - together we can make a
difference, one step at a time.

Poison Ivy : (

GRRR.

Itchy oozing rashes on both of my wrists just below where my gardening gloves were. This is the first time I can remember having poison ivy or oak or whatever and it's not fun. I have to stay hepped up on Benadryl or else all I can think about is the itchiness. We must have PI somewhere in the yard - I did a lot of clearing around the edges of the fence and under trees. Thankfully I was wearing gardening gloves. I can't even imagine what this would be like if I was sans gloves.

High-functioning Manic Depressive?

In the immortal words of Jimi Hendrix,

"Manic depression is touching my soul
I know what I want but I just dont know
How to, go about gettin it"

Is there such a thing as being a high-functioning manic depressive? I either seem to have zero energy to the point where watering flowers requires all the focus I can muster to brimming with enthusiasm and feeling like I won't have enough time to accomplish everything I want to do.

E says it's just allergies, and being outside is putting me to sleep. Maybe it's the poppy I planted.

What have I been up to? Lots of freelance work - I increased my output for May to 150% to help pay my tax bill and car repair bill from April. I am almost back in the black - at least close enough that I can relax.

Reading: Bel Canto by Ann Patchett. I love this book. I NEVER describe books as well-written - to me that is usually code for boring and overly descriptive, but this book is beautifully written. It weaves opera with kidnapping and explores a cast of non-cliche characters so well, I'm sure they all exist. I almost finished it last night, but decided to save the last bit for today.

Recently bookmarked: Pick the Brain. Thanks to Ed for this one. Interesting explorations on self-education, motivation and decision-making. Here's a sample of PTB philosophy on writing something worth reading:

"Absorb fresh ideas and sublime style by reading old books, written by masters of language. Then take these ideas and pretend you invented them. You’ll be hailed as a prophet."

The movie industry does that constantly.

Must take my manic self outside for a run before it hits 31 (C) today. Thats 88 (F) for those south of the border.

On my to-do list: upload photos to flicr. Watch this space for poppy blooms, my Dad on the climbing wall and more....

Maximum Distraction

My parents came to visit last weekend, so my Dad finally met the infamous E. They went to visit battlefield sites where the Americans TRIED to invade Canada while Mom and I focused on gardening shows and the Ottawa Tulip Festival. Very Mars/Venus. The visit was fun, but I'm beat now. I've only been running once in the last 10 days, and E is lording it over me that he is ahead in fund-raising. I still have a few sources to hit, so I'm hoping I can still out-manoeuvre him.

Help me beat E!

In June I will be participating in the 'Step Up for the Children' 10K run fund-raiser for the Foundation for Research into Children's Diseases. E is the team captain, so my participation is mandatory. As you know, E is not human, and will run the race in some ridiculously fast time which I have no chance of beating. He will also send one lame e-mail the day before the race and somehow magically manage to raise tons of money. Sometimes he can be really irritating.
Please help me out-fund-raise him!

If you're inclined to give donations to worthy causes, this is a good one and I am actively (so to speak) requesting donations. To sponsor me, click here. Tax receipts are provided via e-mail.

My reason for doing this isn't just to beat E. One of my three main goals for this year is to get into 10K shape which for me means being able to roll out of bed and run a 10K race in less than 60 minutes on a whim. That isn't a fast pace, but it does represent a good level of fitness for me.

I already did one 10K in March and finished in 1:04:31. I've increased my training and dropped a few lbs so I'm hoping I can break 1:00 in the next race in June. Last year I ran it in 1:06:26. It's a fun race for a good cause, and an opportunity to squish E like a bug. Help me!

Update: Thanks Dorse and Dodi! I'm well on my way to crushing E under my strappy sandals : )

I think if E loses he should have to spend a weekend slacking, watching a movie/tv series marathon of my choice.

If I lose, well, it will just be sad.

Can't complain, but...

I will anyway. It's all good, just insanely busy. I have enough freelance work either billed or 'in the pipeline' to pay for car repairs and the extra tax I wasn't counting on owing, so that's good, but it's been hours and hours of work for many clients.

AND it's finally gorgeous out!! So I want to be outside fighting dandelions and planting. Since I will be out of my financial hole as soon as payments catch up with my invoices, I will be able to do some planting this year. I had E draw a proper sketch with specs so I can plant at will.

The book, ah yes the book. Weeellll..... sadly it has taken a back burner. Since it doesn't pay the bills I can't write chapters instead of completing work that pays. I know the book needs to be prioritized... let me get my car back and I'll take it from there.

Being a writer interests me, being a starving artist does not.

Veg reward points

One of the fun things about visiting ksl & the gang is seeing how the kids are being taught life skills, a la "Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarden" - the types of things we often forget as adults.

Ksl's newest scheme in development was the 'points system' for everyone in the family - you earn points for things like doing homework, cleaning up, etc, then need to spend points for privileges like tv. Trash tv costs more points than pbs-type tv.

I like that system, and was talking to E about implementing it here - I'd like it because it would allow me to be guilt-free when I've officially 'earned' the right to veg and watch Gilmore Girls season 2 for the 4th time. Unfortunately E is 'Johnny Project', and for him, vegging is a punishment, so his points system will have to be more of a trucker's log - after he's racked up so many project points, he must take a mandatory veg break.

I still have to work out the details of the system, but I'm confident it will either work swimmingly or I'll be begging E to trade points with me so I can veg more.

Blame it on biorhythyms

Whenever everything I touch seems to go wrong, I like to check my biorhythms. I know it's kind of like praying to pagan gods during an eclipse, but for whatever reason, believing that there is something controlling this mess is comforting.
According to my chart for today, it's a miracle I even got out of bed. My Intellectual, Emotional, and Wisdom states are all in the crapper right now.

Light examples of my current state: could not speak properly yesterday. Ordered a 'whole wheat tomato' instead of a 'whole wheat bagel' at Tim Hortons yesterday, and it took a while to clear up the confusion

More serious example: I think the accountant I used to prepare my taxes and E's taxes was incompetent. Still sorting this mess out.

I am trying to look for the silver lining, but I just want to curl up under a cozy duvet and not think about it.

Oh, and I broke E's snappy labelmaker (the nice Brother P-Touch kind, not the cheap 70's kind) when I was trying to do filing in my office.

Home again

When I found out Friday that my car wouldn't be ready again(!) and I'd be waiting until at least today, maybe longer, I sunk into a pit of despair. Gran Dorse kept trying to entice me off the ledge:

GD: "It's sunny and warm - you can go running outside!"
me: "don't want to"

GD: " I made dark chocolate brownies"
me: " grrr"

GD: "I can see if we have enough frequent flyer points for E to visit for the weekend"
me: "ok"

As it turned out, E was too busy and important to fly out Saturday even if GD did have enough points, so she lent me her snappy red vehicle and I made it back. GD & Boba will drive the friggin' Civic back if they ever manage to track down all the unique gaskets, sprockets and hoozits required to make a Honda run.

While it has been lovely to see E, it has been less-than-lovely to deal with 3 weeks of neglected misc - specifically taxes. Bad news from my accountant - I owe more than he estimated. great.

So I am digging change out of GD's car cushions hoping to scrape together enough to keep myself out of debtor's prison.

On the plus side, my tulips are starting to sprout : )

Am I a Mean Boss or an Understanding Boss?

Ok, so my car engine blew up - could happen to anyone. But gone for 2 weeks!! Isn't that a bit much? Yes, yes, I'm working over the Internet, but I'm only doing jobs I'd already committed to - I am not drumming up new work, following up on outstanding invoices or doing any marketing/promotion.

I am thrashing back and forth between
understanding boss: 'it's a stressful situation and you should cut yourself some slack'
to
mean boss: 'get on with it and quit whining - you're lucky you have the kind of job that allows you to be gone so long - take advantage and get as much done as possible.'

On the plus side, I'm in a good workout groove - The local Y here is excellent - I've been swimming twice and spinning twice. The instructor for this morning's spinning class was, let's say 'nearing retirement age', and she kicked my a**!! That was humbling. The Pilates class led by a soft-spoken granola girl left me feeling like I'd been punched in the stomach for an hour. Apparently I NEED these workouts.

I've been wearing the same pair of jeans over and over, and finally today I found another pair for $7.50 on the red dot clearance rack at Peebles. If your engine ever blows up and you've eaten a bunch of pizza and frosted cookies and you don't want to buy any nice pants at your current weight, but you need another pair of pants until you can get home, I recommend Peebles.

BTW I have stopped eating pizza and frosted cookies. I might still be snacking on chocolate easter eggs and Hershey's truffle kisses, but they're small and slow me down with all the unwrapping.

'it's ok, you'll get back on track when you're home'

'quit making excuses, a**clown. life is tough. deal with it.'

I'm coming unglued. I miss E.

I spent Easter discussing religion in McDonalds

Sunday, 4 p.m.

Me: “Is it fixable?”

Mechanic: “How much do you like your car?”

Not good.

Earlier Sunday, approx. 2:15 p.m.

As I pop in disc 5 of an audio book that I’m not crazy about, but is keeping me occupied on my drive from Illinois to Ohio, I hear rattling. I turn off the CD and hear louder rattling. I try to notice what is causing it – no engine lights are on, temperature is ok. Pressing the gas pedal makes it worse but even with my foot off the gas, the noise isn’t good.

I calm my rising panic by telling myself that sometimes really bad noises are more noise than trouble. Unfortunately my calm is short-lived when something goes POP!, the oil light and battery light go on, smoke pours out from under the car, and I’m forced to roll over to the shoulder. On the Interstate. Great.

I pull out my cell phone, get my CAA card and put my ‘in case of emergency’ plan to work. While I wait to get a signal and try to not think about how much ‘roaming’ is going to cost me, some guy turns up out of nowhere. He’s pointing to my engine. Does he think I don’t know my car has broken down or is he Ted Bundy junior? Where did he come from anyway? I don’t see a car anywhere nearby. From the rattle and smoke, I doubt that he can help. I motion to my cell phone and wave my CAA card. He mouths “It’s on fire,” and points to my engine.

I don’t think Bundy ever used the car on fire excuse so I take my chances and get out of my car. I say “It’s on fire?"

He tells me he saw fire under my car, but now it appears to be out.

I’m suspicious of this good Samaritan (too many after-school specials and that creepy Kurt Russel Breakdown movie) but I notice that I’ve got a good six inches and ten pound on this guy, so I try to look as surly as possible and hope he doesn’t see me as a victim. Just when I finally connect to AAA, two state troopers pull up.

Thank you, truck drivers.

The troopers send the ‘concerned citizen’ on his way, help me explain to AAA where exactly I am – Howe Indiana at the mile 115 marker - and then let me warm up in a cruiser, but not with my purse – that had to go in the trunk in case I had a gun.

4:15 pm

Since my car will obviously not be fixed anytime soon, if ever, I need a plan b.

Plan b is to have my Dad pick me up somewhere recognizable, easy to find, where I can wait in comfort and safety.

McDonalds.

There is ALWAYS a McDonalds nearby, and of course, there is one just off the Interstate where we can easily direct my dad and where I can sit safely to wait.

I admit to being all over the anti-McDonald’s bandwagon – I watched SuperSize me in horror and straightened up in my upright position on my sky-high horse.

“I don’t eat at McDonalds” I’d proudly state when the buzz from the movie first came out.

Right now I am overjoyed to be eating in McDonalds. Compared to sitting underdressed (didn’t expect it to SNOW on Easter!) in my non-functioning car on the side of the highway, a well-lit, warm, safe McDonalds is nirvana. The excellent coffee is a bonus.

I luck out at this particular McDonalds in LaGrange Indiana – the back room with a big flat screen TV makes me feel less lost, alone and stranded. The world news helps keep my looming carless state in perspective.

7:30

I move to the front to watch for my Dad, who is supposed to be there any minute to pick me up.

7:31

Grizzled psycho: “THEY say the world is billions of years old but I don't believe it. Evolution – pshaw. Who do they think created it all?”
Apparently the question is directed at me. I've never actually seen anyone who didn't believe in evolution in person before. He really fits the cliche of a nutcase, but I don't want to give up my Dad-watching vantage point or lug my 3 bags around again, so I stay put and decide to character-study a living, breathing creationist lunatic.

15 minutes later, his rants about gays, lesbians, sinners and non-believers is wearing thin. He's SUCH a cliche that he's completely useless to me character-wise – fraying collar on a flannel shirt, stooped shoulders, unshaven, wild-eyed, ranting nonsense. Totally useless – nothing unique or interesting about him, just a run-of the mill nutbar.

Dad finally shows up, looks at the religious wacko, looks at me, chuckes and says, “I have to go to the bathroom” and walks away LEAVING ME WITH THE NUTBAR!

Thanks a lot.

I spend another eternity learning about how I can get my own subscription to 'The Daily Bread' when Dad finally reappears and we go to the car.

What a day.

Monday

The broken-down car saga continues. It looks like I'll be here for the rest of the week at least trying to either get it fixed (engines aren't cheap) or scrapping it and getting a ride back.

I miss E.

Zombie Romance

Already done:

Source: IMDB :From the land that spawned probably the most zombie films to this date, ranging in quality from excellent to exremely dull, comes one film that rises above nearly all the rest. DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE (aka CEMETERY MAN) is that film, and if you haven't seen it yet, you are seriously missing out. The story is about lonely cemetery attendant Francesco (Rupert Everett (!?) in one of his very early roles)and his mute, Igor-like assistant Gnaghi. Every seven days, the dead rise from their graves (for no real apparent reason...) and it is Francesco and Gnaghi's job to dispatch them. The 2 live a pretty solitary existence until a mysterious woman comes along and into Francesco's life. Cut to the chase- Francesco and the woman have sex on her newly buried husband's grave, and when he returns from the dead, everything goes haywire from there...

DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE is several films rolled into one...zombie gore film, dark comedy, romance story - similar in some ways to perhaps DEADALIVE (not nearly as silly or gory), but this is a hard film to make a comparison on. It really is it's own unique experience and should definitely be viewed by anyone into horror/zombie films. Again, one of my all-time zombie favorites...Highly Recommended 9/10