Tuesday, September 20, 2005

It's Better to Fall on Your Butt Than Not Try

That's what Nate's skateboarding coach told the 7-year-olds in the Skateboarding 2 class last Saturday. Good advice. I wish that lesson would sink in to my 38-year-old head.

Have I ever regretted trying something and not achieving it? No.

Have I ever regretted not trying something? Yes.

Lesson learned? Apparently not. All those A's in school and a basic life lesson still eludes me.

What do I regret not trying?

- not going out for the basketball team in junior high. I was tall for my age and we used to shoot baskets in the driveway all the time. I would have done fine and probably really liked it. For whatever reason, I had it in my head that I was "not athletic" so that was the end of that.

- not getting a job at the Daily Illini during my University years. I started in Journalism and my academic advisor told me to go get a job at the university newspaper (the DI). For whatever reason I decided I was "too shy" and didn't do it, but would constantly compose "columns" in my head. What a moron.

- not going hang gliding when I had the opportunity. I actually did want to try it. I really don't know why I didn't - at the time I guess I didn't realize how important it was to seize the opportunity when it presents itself.

There are probably more but those are the three big ones that bother me the most.

As for my giant failure - do I regret geting married even though it ended in divorce? No. I would have always wondered what if... and always compared every relationship to some mythical one I would have built up in my head. I didn't end up where I thought I would be, but my life has been and continues to be full of incredible surprises.

So, what's my problem? Whenever I hit a rough patch with the book, my head floods with those evil "What the hell do you think you're trying to do?" demons. My inner Buffy is still working out the kinks in her roundhouse, but she is really trying to keep the demons under control. My inner Giles is trying to help by providing all the past "trying/not trying" evidence that the demons are wrong. Maybe I need to work on my inner Spike. Spike would stop agonizing so much and just bloody well get on with it.

7 comments:

stephen said...

spike is hot.

how's that 4 support?

Karen said...

At least you're reading it :)

Anonymous said...

You have learned well grasshopper...

Freshly_Skyped said...

Maybe the inner Lara Croft needs to go into the demon pit with guns blazing! Make sure she leaves one alive to go back and report that there's a new chick in town and she won't take any crap from them anymore so they might as well move on and set up somewhere else.

Dodi said...

I second Stephen, Spike is yummy.

Now you have me pondering regrets. Hmmm.

I was trying to think of something encouraging here. I've gone blank. I think it's great that you are going for it. If you didn't have any doubts or hiccups along the way it wouldn't be real. The reason everyone doesn't sit down and write a novel is that it is hard work. If all it took was talent I'd be a professional artist. It takes guts and determination.

So you keep encouraging your scoobies, you're doing fine.

Dodi said...

Update damnit!

Hope you are getting lots of writing done :)

bobapede said...

I'm just lurking.